Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
