So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
