i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
