We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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