After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
