your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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