It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
