Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
