Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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