I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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