a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i have two assholes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
