Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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