well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize