that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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