he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
birth control should be required to get into college
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
