You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
