Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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