Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize