He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
