well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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