A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
