i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I looked at my own cervix.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
