What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
