Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize