I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize