Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
