i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why did my mother make you get naked?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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