When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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