are you still at the devil's house?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize