Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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