How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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