I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
