i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
