Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
