Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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