Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
