I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
