The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
