Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize