I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
