It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
