have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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