i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
