It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
