apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize