Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
