i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
