You're so nebulous sometimes
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
