I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
