why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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