so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
