he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
