in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
