I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
