i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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