to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
