elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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