There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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