I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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