i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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